The internet's least updated website. Proudly stagnant since 1995!

Halloween Theme

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Thingamablog might not have been the ideal solution for keeping my website up to date, but it did teach me a lot about style sheets. So I used that knowledge to create this awesome new Halloween theme for my website. I hope you like Halloween, because this is probably what my website is going to look like for the next few years...

Photo: Luna Moth

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Here's another example of an interactive zooming picture using Photo Zoom 3. This picture of a luna moth was taken on June 1, 2010. The wingspan is about four inches.

The luna moth is probably best known for its starring role in Lunesta commercials. In these sinister advertisements, a glowing translucent moth gains entry to various bedrooms via open windows and lands on unsuspecting human victims, causing them to lose consciousness. Just one more reason to keep your windows locked at night! Note the creepy, human-like eye spots on the wings. Simply move your mouse pointer over the thumbnail for a closer look... if you dare! Move your mouse pointer off the picture to zoom back out.

Photo: Scary Clouds

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I found a brilliant free solution for easily adding interactive zooming pictures to my website without using JavaScript or creating separate thumbnail images! Photo Zoom 3 accomplishes this amazing feat using only CSS styles and HTML tags. Just add a few lines of code to your style sheet, and voila! Zooming pictures!

For example, this picture of scary clouds is too big to display inside a blog entry. But thanks to PZ3, you can move your mouse pointer over the thumbnail to expand it to full size! When you've seen enough, simply move your mouse pointer off the picture to zoom out again. This trick should work with all modern browsers, and the expanded picture doesn't affect document flow. You can even display a caption below the expanded picture. Genius! Many thanks to Randsco for developing this ingenious technique!

R.I.P. Thingamablog

Monday, October 1, 2012

It looks like I haven't updated my website for more than a year now, so I guess that means that Thingamablog didn't make it any easier to update my website. It's actually a pretty nice application, but it has the same fatal flaw that plagues every content management system I try. By the time I finish customizing templates and finding work-arounds for quirks and developing procedures to make the content manager do everything that I want it to do, I suddenly realize that it would have been much faster and easier to simply compose the HTML myself in a text editor! So that's exactly what I'm going to do. From now on, it's just me and Notepad2 and my trademark lack of motivation and creativity. Wish me luck!

...website stagnates for 14 months while Jason plays Skyrim...

Movie Review: The Last Exorcism

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Last Exorcism is another forgettable entry in the ever growing list of faux documentary horror films, including slightly more memorable titles like:

Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2
The Fourth Kind
[•REC] and [•REC] 2
Quarantine (the American remake of [•REC])
The Blair Witch Project
The Last Broadcast

In this particular outing, a deceitful evangelical preacher invites a film crew to document his final phony exorcism before he quits the phony exorcism business forever. Naturally, the gang gets more than they bargained for when they realize that they might have stumbled upon a genuine case of demonic possession. Madcap supernatural hijinks ensue.

In order for the fake documentary gimmick to work, you need to believe that you are watching footage of actual events. Unfortunately, familiar faces in the cast make it impossible to entirely suspend disbelief. They may not be world famous superstars, but you've probably seen some of these actors guest starring on CSI or The Mentalist or both. Actress Ashley Bell literally bends over backwards to convince us that she really is possessed by the devil, but her efforts are in vain, because we already know that the proceedings are as contrived as the reverend's sideshow exorcisms. That's because the cameraman always keeps shooting, even when logic dictates that he should be running for his life.

The Last Exorcism appears to be a homegrown production shot on a shoestring budget. If you look at the credits, you will get the distinct impression that this project probably started out as a feature-length demo reel designed to promote the careers of everyone involved. Many of the characters' names match the names of the actors who portray them, and one of the actors even contributed music to the production.

This movie is short on scares, but the twist ending almost justifies its brief 89-minute run time. It wasn't a total disaster, but I'm glad that I didn't pay good money to see it. I watched it on Epix HD.

Posting a Small Picture with Thingamablog

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Cheesy Fantasy Landscape Painting

This is what happens when you insert a small picture into a blog entry with Thingamablog. This is a cheesy fantasy landscape that I painted a long time ago using Bob Ross techniques. I'm sure that Bob Ross is probably rolling over in his grave right now. You can see more of my miserable excuses for paintings on this page from my old website.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Okay, so I guess I'll give this Thingamablog a try. Maybe I'll update my website more than once every decade now. I'm not even sure why I would want to maintain a personal website when I can easily post my pointless drivel to Facebook, where I would undoubtedly reach a much bigger audience.

You can still access my old website, which I am preserving for posterity. Internet archaeologists may one day discover this website, like the paleolithic cave paintings of Europe, and try to decipher the primitive mind that struggled to express its rudimentary understanding of the world around it.