HQ MIKROWAV uVeNZ RELE WuRK
IM suR xaT, aT SuM PqNT iN TIM, YU HaV ReD YOR MIKROWAV uVeN ONuRZ MaNYUuL iN
u VAG uTeMPT TU DiSKuVuR HQ, eGZaKTLE, YOR MIKROWAV uVeN WuRKS. aND WeN YU
DiD SO, IM suR YU WuR TOLD xaT xeR iZ u DEVIS iNSID YOR uVeN KoLD u
"MaGNeTRoN" WiC, XRU aN oBSKYuR MaJiKuL PRoSeS, SuMHQ HETS YOR FUD BI
BoMBoRDing iT WiX "RADEO WAVZ". oBVEuSLE, xiS eKSPLuNAsuN iZ TOTuLE aBSuRD.
iN FaKT, iT iZ SiMPLE uNuxuR SLoPE uTeMPT TU KuVuR uP YeT uNuxuR GuVuRNMeNT
MIND KuNTROL eKSPeRiMeNT.
I'm sure that, at some point in time, you have read your Microwave Oven
Owner's Manual in a vague attempt to discover how, exactly, your microwave
oven works. And when you did so, I'm sure you were told that there is a
device inside your oven called a "magnetron" which, through an obscure
magical process, somehow heats your food by bombarding it with "radio waves".
Obviously, this explanation is totally absurd. In fact, it is simply another
sloppy attempt to cover up yet another Government Mind Control Experiment.
YU SE, MIKROWAV uVeNZ DONT aKCUuLE HET YOR FUD aT oL! NO! xA SiMPLE KREAT xE
iLUzuN xaT YOR FUD iZ HoT. BuT PLEZ, DONT JuST TAK MI WuRD FOR iT. GO iNTU xu
KiCeN YORSeLF aND PuRFORM xEZ SiMPL eKSPeRiMeNTS, WiC WiL uNDQTeDLE KuNViNS
YU xaT MI KLAMZ oR TRU.
You see, microwave ovens don't actually heat your food at all! No! They
simply create the illusion that your food is hot. But please, don't just take
my word for it. Go into the kitchen yourself and perform these simple
experiments, which will undoubtedly convince you that my claims are true.
FuRST, SeT YOR KuNVeNCuNuL uVeN aT 500 DEGREZ, xeN WAT u FYU MiNuTS. NQ, OPeN
xu DOR. SE? WeN YU OPeND xu DOR, iNKReDiBL uMQNTS uV REL HET KAM QT aND
BLaSTeD YOR FAS, SKORCing YOR HeR aND IBRQZ SLITLE. NQ, JuST TU BE suR xaT xu
HET iZ REL, RaP YOR HaND uRQND xu GLOing HET eLeMeNT FOR u FYU SeKuNDZ. QC!
YeS, YOR HaND iZ NQ KWIT CoRD, aND RoKeTS uV PAN oR uNDQTeDLE sUTing XRU YOR
oRM aZ PRUF xaT xu HET iZ REL.
First, set your conventional oven at 500 degrees, then wait a few minutes.
Now, open the door. See? When you opened the door, incredible amounts of real
heat came out and blasted your face, scorching your hair and eyebrows
slightly. Now, just to be sure that the heat is real, wrap your hand around
the glowing heat element for a few seconds. OUCH! Yes, your hand is now quite
charred, and rockets of pain are undoubtedly shooting through your arm as
proof that the heat is real.
NQ, BaNDuJ YOR HaND aND uTEMPT xu SAM eKSPeRiMeNT WiX YOR MIKROWAV. aZ YU KaN
SE, NO HET KuMZ QT WeN YU OPeN xu DOR. WI, iT iZNT EVeN WoRM iNSID! uV KORS,
YU KaNoT RaP YOR HaND uRQND eNE HETing eLeMeNTS, BEKuZ xeR oRNT eNE. NOR WiL
xu MIKROWAV uPER TU oPuRAT WIL xu DOR iZ OPeN. xeRFOR, xER iZ NO WA TU TeL iF
iT eVuR GeTS HoT iNSID xu CAMBuR. iN FaKT, iT DUZNT. FuRxuRMOR, xu SQND YU
HER WeN xE uVeN iZ "oN" iZ MERLE aN eLeKTRoNiK NqZMAKuR DEZIND TU TRiK YU
iNTU xinKing xaT xE uVeN oNLE WuRKS WeN iT iZ "oN". xu TRUX uV xu MaTuR iZ
xaT xu MIND KuNTROL DEVIS iN YOR MIKROWAV uVeN iZ KoNSTuNTLE iN oPuRAsuN,
WexuR YU oR "KwKing" FUD OR NoT! YeS, xiS DuZ SEM FoRFeCT, BuT PLEZ KEP aN
OPeN MIND WIL PuRFORMing xEZ NeKST FYU eKSPeRiMeNTS.
Now, bandage your hand and attempt the same experiment with your microwave.
As you can see, no heat comes out when you open the door. Why, it isn't even
warm inside! Of course, you cannot wrap your hand around any heating
elements, because there aren't any. Nor will the microwave appear to operate
while the door is open. Therefore, there is no way to tell if it ever gets
hot inside the chamber. In fact, it doesn't. Furthermore, the sound you hear
when the oven is "on" is merely an electronic noisemaker designed to trick
you into thinking that the oven only works when it is "on". The truth of the
matter is that the Mind Control Device in your microwave oven is constantly
in operation, whether you are "cooking" food or not! Yes, this does seem
farfetched, but please keep an open mind while performing these next few
NQ TAK u FROZeN DiNuR QT uV YOR FREZuR. RED xu "SPesuL MIKROWAV iNSTRuKsuNZ"
oN xu BoKS aND FIND QT HQ Long YU oR SuPOZD TU "KwK" xu DiNuR. NeKST, PLAS xu
FROZeN DiNuR iN YOR MIKROWAV, BuT ONLE "KwK" iT FOR HaF xu TIM PRESKRIBD. WeN
YU REMUV xu DiNuR, iT WiL uPER TU BE HoT, BuT WeN YU POK YOR FinGuR iNTU xu
MasD POTATOZ, YU WiL KWiKLE DiSKuVuR xaT xE iLUzuN iZ iNKuMPLET, aND xu
POTATOZ oR STiL KWIT FROZeN oN xE iNSID! aKCUuLE, xu POTATOZ oR oLSO FROZeN
oN xE QTSID, BuT YU SiMPLE KaNoT SE xiS BEKoZ uV xE iLUzuN.
Now, take a frozen dinner out of your freezer. Read the "special microwave
instructions" on the box and find out how long you are supposed to "cook" the
dinner. Next, place the frozen dinner in your microwave, but only "cook" it
for half the time prescribed. When you remove the dinner, it will appear to
be hot, but when you poke your finger into the mashed potatoes, you will
quickly discover that the illusion is incomplete, and the potatoes are still
quite frozen on the inside! Actually, the potatoes are also frozen on the
outside, but you simply cannot see this because of the illusion.
NeKST, GO uHeD aND FiNis "KwKing" xu DiNuR. aZ YU KaN SE, xu MIND KuNTROL
DEVIS iN YOR MIKROWAV HaZ NQ KuMPLETeD xE iLUzuN, aND xu FUD uPERZ TU BE HoT,
BOX iNSID aND QT. uV KORS, iT iZ STiL KWIT KOLD. TU PRUV xiS, LeT xu DiNuR
STaND FOR u FYU MiNuTS WIL xE iLUzuN WeRZ oF. WeN YU RETuRN, xu FUD iZ KOLD
uGeN! YU MIT HaV eKSPeKTeD iT TU BE FROZeN, BuT iN xu TIM iT TAKS FOR xE
iLUzuN TU WeR oF, xu WuNS-FROZeN FUD HaZ NaCuRuLE XoD.
Next, go ahead and finish "cooking" the dinner. As you can see, the Mind
Control Device in your microwave has now completed the illusion, and the food
appears to be hot, both inside and out. Of course, it is still quite cold. To
prove this, let the dinner stand for a few minutes while the illusion wears
off. When you return, the food is cold again! You might have expected it to
be frozen, but in the time it takes for the illusion to wear off, the
once-frozen food has naturally thawed.
uNFORCUNuTLE, MeNE PEPuL eKSPEREeNS WoT xA XinK oR TUX "KaViTEZ", WeN aKCUuLE
xA HaV DaMuJD xeR TEX BI ETing FROZeN FUD WIC xA XoT TU BE HoT! uV KORS, xu
GuVuRNMeNT HaZ uVqDeD xiS isU BI SPReDing DiSiNFORMAsuN uBQT aN iMaJiNeRE
SuBSTuNS KoLD "PLaK" WiC SuPOZeDLE "RoTS" xu TEX, KoZing "KaViTEZ".
Unfortunately, many people experience what they think are tooth "cavities",
when actually they have damaged their teeth by eating frozen food which they
thought to be hot! Of course, the Government has avoided this issue by
spreading disinformation about an imaginary substance called "plaque" which
supposedly "rots" the teeth, causing "cavities".
YeS, IM suR YU STiL HaV MeNE DQTS. YU MA BE SAing, "WuN TIM I KwKT aN eG iN
MI MIKROWAV, aND iT KoNSeKWeNTLE eKSPLODeD, LEVing LiTL BiTS uV eG oL OVuR xu
WoL aND SELing." OR PuRHaPS YU oR SAing, "WuN TIM I KwKT SuM SUP iN xu
MIKROWAV, aND iT SPiLD oNTU MI HaND, BuRNing ME SeVERLE."
Yes, I'm sure you still have many doubts. You may be saying, "One time I
cooked an egg in my microwave, and it consequently exploded, leaving little
bits of egg all over the wall and ceiling." Or perhaps you are saying, "One
time I cooked some soup in the microwave, and it spilled onto my hand,
burning me severely."
WeL, LIK I SeD BEFOR, xu MIND KuNTROL DEVIS iN u MIKROWAV uVeN KuNTiNYUZ TU
oPuRAT, EVeN WeN xu YUNiT iZ "oF". xeRFOR, oN SuM OKAzuNZ, FUD WiL uPER TU
eKSPLOD, aND PESeS uV iT WIL uPER TU STiK TU xu SELing FOR DAZ, OR EVeN YERZ.
aZ Long aZ xu MIKROWAV iZ PLuGD iN, xE iLUzuN WiL BE MANTAND. SO, FOR
iNSTuNS, u FReND MIT KuM OVuR aND KoMeNT uBQT xu FUD STuK TU YOR SELing, BuT
xiS iZ ONLE BEKoZ xu MIND KuNTROL DEVIS iZ uFeKTing YOR FReND iN xu SAM WA iT
uFeKTS YU. SiMiLuRLE, YU MA uPER TU GeT BuRND, BuT xiS, LIK eNE uxuR iLUzuN,
WiL WeR oF WiX TIM.
Well, like I said before, the Mind Control Device in a microwave oven
continues to operate, even when the unit is "off". Therefore, on some
occasions, food will appear to explode, and pieces of it will appear to stick
to the ceiling for days, or even years. As long as the microwave is plugged
in, the illusion will be maintained. So, for instance, a friend might come
over and comment about the food stuck to your ceiling, but this is only
because the Mind Control Device is affecting your friend in the same way it
affects you. Similarly, you may appear to get burned, but this, like any
other illusion, will wear off with time.
FOR xu MOST PoRT, YU KaNoT eSKAP xiS iNTRiKuT WeB uV iLUzuN. NO MaTuR WeR YU
GO, YU WiL MOST LIKLE BE uNDuR xE iNFLUeNS uV u MIKROWAV uVeN. xuS, YU MA
uPER TU BE BuRND EVeN WeN YU LEV YOR HOM, uNLeS, uV KORS, YU TRaVeL TU u
DiSTuNT WiLDuRNeS DEVqD uV MIKROWAV uVeNZ. uNFORCUNuTLE, JuST uNPLuGing YOR
MIKROWAV uVeN iZNT xu SOLUsuN, BEKoZ SuC DEVISeZ HaV BaKuP BaTuREZ xaT KaN
KEP xeM iN oPuRAsuN FOR MuNXS. xE ONLE WA TU KQNTuRaKT xiS GuVuRNMeNT MIND
KuNTROL eKSPeRiMeNT iZ TU DESTRq xu YUNiT KuMPLETLE. iN eNE KAS, YU WiL HaV
TU PuRSWAD oL YOR NABuRZ TU DU xu SAM. oN xE uxuR HaND, YU MA CUZ TU KOeGZiST
WiX YOR MIKROWAV, SuFuR FRuM KaViTEZ, aND PRETeND xaT iTS oL aN iNTeGRuL PoRT
uV REaLiTE. iTS xu PATREoTiK Xing TU DU.
For the most part, you cannot escape this intricate web of illusion. No
matter where you go, you will most likely be under the influence of a
microwave oven. Thus, you may appear to be burned even when you leave your
home, unless, of course, you travel to a distant wilderness devoid of
microwave ovens. Unfortunately, just unplugging your microwave oven isn't the
solution, because such devices have backup batteries that can keep them in
operation for months. The only way to counteract this Government Mind Control
Experiment is to destroy the unit completely. In any case, you will have to
persuade all your neighbors to do the same. On the other hand, you may choose
to coexist with your microwave, suffer from cavities, and pretend that it's
all an integral part of reality. It's the patriotic thing to do.